Sip and Chat: How the COFFEE Method Can Help You Start Conversations Like a Pro
So, I’m driving my oldest daughter, who’s now 13, to a youth event where she’ll be meeting and chatting with some of her friends. She’s an introvert and has expressed a lot of anxiety about making small talk with new people. She doesn’t mind having a conversation with someone, but when her friends get together, there always seem to be some awkward silences or lulls, and that’s when my daughter feels the pressure to save the conversation. Does anyone else remember what it was like to be in junior high? Oh man, those were rough days!
I dropped her off that night and started thinking about her problem. The following day, I had some travel time to reflect on how I could help make it easier for my daughter to start conversations. I realized that advice like “just be yourself” or “don’t be afraid to talk” wouldn’t cut it. She needed a simple and easy-to-remember tool that could give her an endless supply of conversation starters. So, what makes a conversation easy? What makes it flow? When are people relaxed, not in a hurry, and simply enjoying each other’s company? Then it hit me. It’s the feeling you have when you are sharing over a cup of coffee (or a cup of tea, in my case).
And then it hit me. I could create an acronym to help my daughter and anyone struggling with conversation starters. So, I came up with C.O.F.F.E.E., an acronym that stands for six conversation starters that work with anyone, anywhere, anytime. My daughter picked it up quickly and said it helped her feel more comfortable talking with people. She said that instead of worrying about what to say, she was running through the acronym and picking out her favorite conversation starters.
Surprisingly, a few weeks later, one of her friend’s parents asked my wife for the acronym because she wanted to give it to her son, who was in high school. So, whether you have a son or daughter in junior high or secretly hate going to lunch with your co-workers because you can’t think of anything to say, this blog post is for you! Whenever you’re in doubt, you always fall back on your training or the system you have in place. Here’s a system you can use to have conversations that flow as easily and smoothly as a cup of C.O.F.F.E.E:
C – Curious: Ask someone something you’re curious about. It can be something about their past, some new clothing they’re wearing, or something you’ve been thinking about and want their opinion on. The key is to ask something you genuinely want to figure out or understand. For example, “What’s the best place you’ve ever visited?” or “Have you ever tried a new hobby? How did it go?”
O – Observation: Take note of your surroundings and any details that interest you. This could be something the person you’re talking to is wearing or carrying, their mood or demeanor, or something else that catches your attention. But make sure to keep it positive and respectful. For example, “I noticed your shirt has a unique pattern. Where did you get it?” or “You seem to be in a good mood. Did something exciting happen today?”
F – Funny: Share a funny story or an anecdote that lightens the mood and puts everyone at ease. Everybody loves a good laugh, and it’s an excellent way to open up the flow of conversation and help people feel more relaxed. For example, “The other day, I tried to make a fancy dinner, but it ended up burning. Have you ever had a kitchen disaster?” or “One time, I accidentally wore my slippers to work. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you?”
F – Future: Ask someone about their goals or plans for the future. This can be a great way to get people talking and sharing their aspirations, hopes, and dreams. For example, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” or “Do you have any travel plans coming up?”
E – Experience: Our lives are stories, and people love to tell their stories. So, ask them about their experiences. It could be something as simple as a memorable vacation or a challenging situation they faced at work. For example, “Have you ever been to a concert that blew you away?” or “What’s the most challenging project you’ve ever worked on?”
E – Environment: Take notice of your surroundings and use them as a conversation starter. This could be the weather, something you see or hear, or something that stands out to you. Try to be a noticer and observe your environment carefully. For example, “What do you think of this weather we’re having?” or “I noticed the décor in this room is really unique. What do you think of it?”
Remember, these six conversation starters are just the beginning. You can always combine them to create more interesting and engaging conversations like noticing someone wearing a shirt with a college mascot and being curious about the team or the future season. Now you are becoming a pro! The key is to be present, curious, and open-minded. In conclusion, starting conversations may seem challenging at first, but with these six conversation starters, you can break the ice and create engaging and enjoyable conversations with anyone, anytime, anywhere. Give them a try, and let us know how it goes!
__
If you’re leading a team or organization, having meaningful and trust-building conversations with your team is critical. That’s why we developed the 1on1 Coaching App. Our coaching system helps make essential conversations, accountability, and goal-setting a natural rhythm of your organization. If you want to learn more about this system, visit our website or contact us for more information. We help organizations create thriving cultures by inspiring and equipping managers to become great leaders/coaches who increase the performance and engagement of their teams.
~ Coach D
Sip and Chat: How the COFFEE Method Can Help You Start Conversations Like a Pro
So, I’m driving my oldest daughter, who’s now 13, to a youth event where she’ll be meeting and chatting with some of her friends. She’s an introvert and has expressed a lot of anxiety about making small talk with new people. She doesn’t mind having a conversation with someone, but when her friends get together, there always seem to be some awkward silences or lulls, and that’s when my daughter feels the pressure to save the conversation. Does anyone else remember what it was like to be in junior high? Oh man, those were rough days!
I dropped her off that night and started thinking about her problem. The following day, I had some travel time to reflect on how I could help make it easier for my daughter to start conversations. I realized that advice like “just be yourself” or “don’t be afraid to talk” wouldn’t cut it. She needed a simple and easy-to-remember tool that could give her an endless supply of conversation starters. So, what makes a conversation easy? What makes it flow? When are people relaxed, not in a hurry, and simply enjoying each other’s company? Then it hit me. It’s the feeling you have when you are sharing over a cup of coffee (or a cup of tea, in my case).
And then it hit me. I could create an acronym to help my daughter and anyone struggling with conversation starters. So, I came up with C.O.F.F.E.E., an acronym that stands for six conversation starters that work with anyone, anywhere, anytime. My daughter picked it up quickly and said it helped her feel more comfortable talking with people. She said that instead of worrying about what to say, she was running through the acronym and picking out her favorite conversation starters.
Surprisingly, a few weeks later, one of her friend’s parents asked my wife for the acronym because she wanted to give it to her son, who was in high school. So, whether you have a son or daughter in junior high or secretly hate going to lunch with your co-workers because you can’t think of anything to say, this blog post is for you! Whenever you’re in doubt, you always fall back on your training or the system you have in place. Here’s a system you can use to have conversations that flow as easily and smoothly as a cup of C.O.F.F.E.E:
C – Curious: Ask someone something you’re curious about. It can be something about their past, some new clothing they’re wearing, or something you’ve been thinking about and want their opinion on. The key is to ask something you genuinely want to figure out or understand. For example, “What’s the best place you’ve ever visited?” or “Have you ever tried a new hobby? How did it go?”
O – Observation: Take note of your surroundings and any details that interest you. This could be something the person you’re talking to is wearing or carrying, their mood or demeanor, or something else that catches your attention. But make sure to keep it positive and respectful. For example, “I noticed your shirt has a unique pattern. Where did you get it?” or “You seem to be in a good mood. Did something exciting happen today?”
F – Funny: Share a funny story or an anecdote that lightens the mood and puts everyone at ease. Everybody loves a good laugh, and it’s an excellent way to open up the flow of conversation and help people feel more relaxed. For example, “The other day, I tried to make a fancy dinner, but it ended up burning. Have you ever had a kitchen disaster?” or “One time, I accidentally wore my slippers to work. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you?”
F – Future: Ask someone about their goals or plans for the future. This can be a great way to get people talking and sharing their aspirations, hopes, and dreams. For example, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” or “Do you have any travel plans coming up?”
E – Experience: Our lives are stories, and people love to tell their stories. So, ask them about their experiences. It could be something as simple as a memorable vacation or a challenging situation they faced at work. For example, “Have you ever been to a concert that blew you away?” or “What’s the most challenging project you’ve ever worked on?”
E – Environment: Take notice of your surroundings and use them as a conversation starter. This could be the weather, something you see or hear, or something that stands out to you. Try to be a noticer and observe your environment carefully. For example, “What do you think of this weather we’re having?” or “I noticed the décor in this room is really unique. What do you think of it?”
Remember, these six conversation starters are just the beginning. You can always combine them to create more interesting and engaging conversations like noticing someone wearing a shirt with a college mascot and being curious about the team or the future season. Now you are becoming a pro! The key is to be present, curious, and open-minded. In conclusion, starting conversations may seem challenging at first, but with these six conversation starters, you can break the ice and create engaging and enjoyable conversations with anyone, anytime, anywhere. Give them a try, and let us know how it goes!
__
If you’re leading a team or organization, having meaningful and trust-building conversations with your team is critical. That’s why we developed the 1on1 Coaching App. Our coaching system helps make essential conversations, accountability, and goal-setting a natural rhythm of your organization. If you want to learn more about this system, visit our website or contact us for more information. We help organizations create thriving cultures by inspiring and equipping managers to become great leaders/coaches who increase the performance and engagement of their teams.
~ Coach D
